We are divine beings in a state of recovery, re-discovering our divinity, winning back ourselves from states of delusion. However, the mind is very much a key player in the drama called life, because without it, the consciousness cannot experience the necessary friction for transcendence to occur. And transcendence is the whole purpose of the game. It is a kingly game when seen with eyes of understanding. If you stay stuck in personhood, life will kick your ass. But if you are open to Truth, then you are continuously expanding into greater and greater seeing. Finally, you will exclaim, ‘I love this stepping out of the shadow of myself into the bright light of my Self.’ If my words are true, it is you who make them true. They come alive inside you because you listen inside your heart and accept them. Not just the words, but what they point to somehow recognizes itself, and the stagnant, the suppressed, vanishes in the light of this real seeing. The serpent-mind loses its tongue in the presence of the real Self. You are the Self.
Mooji
There is awakening – that emergence from a deep slumbering or sleep-walking through our lives, to some degree unconscious of the depths within and living inside a very small and limited sense of what it means to be alive – that awakening to the recognition or re-discovery of our divinity. There is that shift in consciousness from believing we are solely our small self – the part of us that feels alone and disconnected in varying degrees. The shift in consciousness or perspective that moves from the small self that is so-mightily tied to its survival at-all-costs to that gob-smacking jolt of our connectedness with all there is, that visceral awareness that we are all in this together, touching and experiencing, becoming conscious of the web of infinite awareness that contains and unites all life; that life-changing shift in perception that reveals an omnipotent intelligence holding and driving the ship and the profound realization that we are along for the ride, invited to know and be our true nature of awareness, of life living itself. There is the awakening that we are awareness and awareness has just become aware of itself . . .
And then there is the greater and greater seeing, as consciousness and awareness expands . . . and expands. And deepens. Part of the deepening is the continuing awareness and trust that the movement of life happens naturally, with no extra effort on our part. A greater force has taken the wheel; the deepening movement into boundless and unlimited unity has a life of its own, drawing us toward becoming more and more fully alive within its mystery and fulfillment of a sacred marriage. The deepening bringing us more and more into the core of our being and the expansion reaching into infinity and the unknowable.
It is through the embodiment of the awakening that the full light of what is true, what is most real, is made more and more visible, expressed and manifest. It is how transcendence happens.
There is seeking for the truth of what we are and there is embodiment of the truth of what we are.
The rubber hits the road after the initial awakening, when we are called to a greater and greater maturity and willingness to uncover and cop to our pretenses. It becomes downright uncomfortable whenever we do not express what is real and true. Life asks, over and over again, ‘show up, show up . . . transparent, vulnerable --- naked in the sun’. It is an ongoing happening - making conscious use of what shows up in our lives – understanding the friction of consciousness Mooji speaks of, saying yes to the heart’s breaking and opening, over and over and over again as we allow ourselves to BE; the life-long process of being our true nature, which shows up by being whatever we are in each moment, humbly saying yes to serving/being a greater intelligence; called many different names (Divine, God, Awareness, Truth, Love, Source, Presence).
Being sick for almost a year and a half has given me opportunity after opportunity to notice and to process a whole new level of embodiment. I experience something different from Mooji when he says staying stuck in personhood life will kick our asses. From where I sit, life can kick our asses at any time, not limited to being stuck in personhood at all.
Almost the entire time I have been ill, I have intuited something more going on. I am sick, physically unwell and living with perplexing and relentless symptoms . . . and yet, it has seemed to me that another dimension is at play here.
To begin with, doesn’t it make sense that we being vehicles for greater and greater consciousness and truth and love to shine and be unconditionally expressed, it matters, really matters, what condition the vehicle is in. It makes so much sense to me that an ever-deepening sacred union or mystical marriage of Oneness, between human and God requires intentionally and increasingly readying the vessel (in this case our body/minds) through a good house cleaning or window washing or sorting through whatever is no longer useful.
Paying attention to my body is not new to me. Since awakening almost 11 years ago it has been pretty much a main focus. Being aware of my body and physical movement has been fun, like learning a whole new skill and a part of me that I marveled at. This is not uncommon for folks who “left their body” because of trauma.
But being sick dropped me into an entirely new dimension.
Listening attentively to my body has deepened and activated greater love.
A simple and powerful truth about maturing, evolving, awakening, and healing is the wheels of change, transformation and transcendence lie within. Circumstances, although understandably can take our breath away by how awful they are, are rarely, if ever, the stimulus of our disharmony. Our reaction to what has happened is where the real juice lies. It appears the more aware of this we are; the more willing we are to “make use” of what card life has dealt us, the less we suffer.
The friction for me . . . the call to further transcendence . . . is being chronically sick in a body that, for most of my life, felt unsafe.
What is it like to be at peace with, to embrace the body tensions and clenching, to compassionately be re-oriented from anxiety to understanding and support?
Long Covid is a neurological virus that, among other things, impacts the nervous system and can wreak havoc on the gut and trigger PTSD.
What a perfect storm for facing my traumatized body in a different way, revealing all those wordless places and cells and blood and bones that held the trauma . . . so much deeper than I could touch before. The more hidden the burial, the trickier to uncover and the more powerful to see.
It is the facing; it is the living in the dark until our inner light reveals the truth that is breathtaking. This is when actual transformation can happen.
As I continue to live with Long Covid, there appears to be a foot on the ground assimilation happening – the sacred union between form and formlessness, between being human and being divine is slowly strengthening.
There is the human dimension. One of the fall-outs of a traumatized nervous system that is often tense and clenched, is not being able to be clear about what the body needs. More often than not, the first thought or response is a catastrophic one that only enhances the fogginess of PTSD. Something awful is happening or about to happen. And “I” have no idea what to do about it. We are time and again, as traumatized humans, trained to be powerless or paralyzed, which is often how come we don’t know how to take care of ourselves in a real, present, and healthy way.
Awareness, Love watches and holds all of this. Since there is no real separation between our small selves and our Selves, awareness, sees, touches, and knows the full state of trauma. Awareness becomes aware of itself, (as form), and untroubled, untouched, appears to grow in magnitude and Love in the face of true openness and honest inquiry.
This tender and wise holding opens into enormous clarity. It quiets the mind, focuses attention on sensations. Being aware of the sensations and pain and discomfort in the body directly, without any interference from the mind or history, or PTSD, tells you what is needed in that moment. Where is the pain, what would either soothe or eliminate the discomfort, what support or help to ask for, how to move, how to benefit the situation. And often, sitting in silence and simply being with the sensation can be just the ticket. This clarity, when not known before, appears simple and yet, it speaks to the extraordinary experience of increased consciousness.
This has been a visceral learning curve of trust. We learn trust by going through the fire with an open heart. Each time love “comes through” everything in us sits up and takes notice, layering the foundation for a deeper trust. It is not something we can learn conceptually, which is why I bow to all of our bravery as we say yes to oneness – the sacred union with all of life, that being with . . . or as, whatever is showing up in this moment and the next.
Whenever we empty ourselves of anything that is distorting our true nature, whenever we detach from an identity that is an illusion, for the love of Source, for what is most Real, we are saying yes to Life, to transformation, to the Self. We are saying yes to unconditional Love. This can be the most priceless gift we have to give; the gift of surrender to something greater than ourselves. And then . . . lo and behold . . . as many have stated . . . that which we seek is seeking us. That very same Love we have given our all to will fill our Being over and over and over again. This is the dance we are called to . . . This is what the mystics have called a sacred union – the integration of our humanity and divinity, expressed uniquely through each of us. This is a whole-hearted praise to being alive.
“Your days are numbered. Use them to throw open the windows of your soul to the sun.”
Marcus Aurelius